Strange As It May Seem, I Still Hope For The Best, Even Though The Best, Like An Interesting Piece Of Mail, So Rarely Arrives.

~  Lemony Snicket

5 Ways To Overcome Social Anxiety

Many people who suffer from social anxiety feel powerless against their emotions and symptoms, but the following simple practices can make a world of difference when you start feeling anxious in social situations.Here are 5 Ways to Help Overcome Social Anxiety:

1.Try not to have an “all or nothing” mindset.

Justin Weeks, Ph.D, an assistant professor of psychology and director of the Center for Evaluation and Treatment of Anxiety at Ohio University, said “Dispute both bleak thoughts that undermine your performance and fuel your anxiety, and equally unrealistic thoughts that are irrationally positive.”

What does this mean? Basically, you should practice retraining your brain to not automatically think of the worst case scenario, but also not get your hopes up too high. Having the mindset of a “realistic optimist” can make life exponentially easier, because you won’t have unrealistic expectations, but you also won’t dwell on every little thing that might go wrong.

2. Gradually increase your exposure to social situations.

This is what therapists call “cognitive behavioral therapy,” and if you do choose to see a therapist, he or she can help you through the necessary steps of feeling more comfortable in public.

Dr. Weeks said it best: “We avoid what frightens us, and in turn, are frightened by what we avoid.”

The longer you evade social encounters, the more the fear will build up in your mind. Of course, gradual exposure will ease you into the situation so you don’t become overwhelmed, so try to first imagine yourself conquering your fear. Picture yourself assuredly delivering a speech in front of your class, or confidently walking up to a group of people at a party, or even just having a relaxed conversation at your home with friends.

While you imagine this scenario, don’t focus on how others might perceive you. Just picture what you would ideally look, feel, and sound like if you felt totally comfortable in this social situation that you fear. Then, just go from there. Talk to your barista at the local coffee shop when you stop by, or go out with a trusted family member or friend to somewhere that makes you feel anxious, like a grocery store or mall.

It might feel uncomfortable or scary at first, but conquering the fears that you have implanted in your brain is a very necessary step on the path to recovery. Make sure to practice positive affirmations along your journey, because a positive mindset is key to overcoming any challenge, no matter how big or small.

3. Practice deep breathing and meditation exercises.

An emerging body of research continues to prove that mindfulness can ease symptoms, or even completely reverse, social anxiety disorders. People who suffer from any form of anxiety focus their attention entirely on the future – how people will react to what they say, what people will think of them, if people will notice their blushing face or shaky hands in a group setting, etc. However, meditation and deep breathing exercises teach them to bring their attention back to the present moment, and think of nothing else but their own breath.

After practicing this for a few weeks or months, it becomes second nature, and they can use these valuable tools when talking to people, giving a speech, or anything else that requires interaction with people.

4. Join a support group for social anxiety.

Oftentimes, people who suffer from mental disorders feel isolated, misunderstood, and abandoned. However, social groups catered to people with similar issues or backgrounds can make sufferers feel like they belong somewhere, and that people do understand what they’re going through. Research local support groups on Facebook or maybe even your area’s Chamber of Commerce website for more information.

5. Avoid focusing your attention inward as often.

As you may have heard before, we are our own worst critics. We analyze ourselves more than other people ever will, and therefore create a lot of anxiety in our heads about how we appear to others. Some might call this “hyper-analyzing,” and it can become a very toxic practice if you make it a habit. To free yourself from these incessant thoughts, try to instead shift your focus to your current environment.

Listen to others fully when they speak to you, instead of wondering what you will say or fearing how you look or sound to others. Notice the color of the paint on the walls, or observe how the smiles on others’ faces brighten up the room. Taking the attention off yourself for a while doesn’t mean that you don’t matter; it just gives you a chance to take in the entirety of a situation, rather than just your role in that situation.

These practices allow you to embrace the full experience of life instead of just a fraction of it spent inside your mind. Enjoy the life awaiting you with open, loving arms. You are valuable and deserve to live it!

Smoking Tobacco Might Increase Risk Of Schizophrenia, Says Researchers

Guardian News 10 July 2015 – Sarah Boseley, Health Editor

Analysis of studies on smoking tobacco and psychosis, of which schizophrenia is most common type, suggests smoking may be causal factor in itself

Cannabis is known to cause psychosis and schizophrenia. The authors of the analysis say are certain there is a modest effect caused by tobacco alone.

Smoking cigarettes might increase people’s risk of psychosis, say researchers who believe tobacco as well as cannabis could play a part in causing schizophrenia.

It has long been recognised that people suffering from psychosis tend to smoke more than most of the population, but it has generally been assumed they are self-medicating. “Having psychosis is a very distressing thing – hearing voices, having delusions,” said Dr James MacCabe from King’s Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience, one of the authors of a new study.

“The argument goes, why wouldn’t people smoke to alleviate the distress?” They might hope it would help with the symptoms and their impaired thinking processes and possibly counter the side-effects of antipsychotic drugs, he said.

But an analysis of a number of studies on smoking tobacco and psychosis, published in the Lancet Psychiatry journal, now shows that smoking may be a causal factor in itself.

The researchers found that daily smokers had an increased risk of psychosis. More than half – 57% – of people arriving at mental health services with their first episode were smokers, which is nearly three times the normal occurrence in the population. Smokers experienced psychosis one year earlier than non-smokers.

“We can’t say that we have proof that cigarette smoking causes schizophrenia,” said Sir Robin Murray, professor of psychiatric research at King’s. “Indeed it is very difficult to point to any particular factor and say it causes schizophrenia. It is a bit like heart disease – there are a number of risk factors. You inherit some vulnerability and … are exposed to various things which increase the risk to your life.”

Cannabis is known to cause psychosis and schizophrenia. The authors say they could not be certain that all the studies they looked at had completely accounted for cannabis use. However, they are certain there is a modest effect caused by tobacco alone.

There are biologically plausible reasons why smoking may be linked to psychosis. “Excess dopamine is the best biological explanation we have for psychotic illnesses such as schizophrenia,” said Murray. “It is possible that nicotine exposure, by increasing the release of dopamine, causes psychosis to develop.” A number of other drugs can stimulate dopamine production, including amphetamines, cocaine and cannabis.

There are also genetic clues – a small number of DNA sequences (called SNPs) are known to be implicated in both schizophrenia and smoking.

“While it is always hard to determine the direction of causality, our findings indicate that smoking should be taken seriously as a possible risk factor for developing psychosis, and not dismissed simply as a consequence of the illness,” said MacCabe.


Prof Michael Owen, director of the Institute of Psychological Medicine and Clinical Neurosciences at Cardiff University, said this paper, together with a previous study carried out in Sweden, “make a pretty strong case that smoking is of causal relevance to schizophrenia”.

He hoped that further genetic investigation might help untangle the relationship. “The fact is that it is very hard to prove causation without a randomised trial, but there are plenty of good reasons already for targeting public health measures very energetically at the mentally ill,” he said.

Blog About Over Analysing

By Anna Laidlaw

Do you over analyse everything?? I do, and it’s all in a negative way, it causes me unnecessary stress and even sleepless nights. I even analyse why I over analyse….

It Drives me Nuts!!!!

So what is Over Analysing?

It’s not something your born with, it’s a habit, a defence mechanism that you form over time.

It’s when your having nagging racing thoughts and or worries. You obsess over anything…situations, conflicts, something someone said in a conversation. You can be hypercritical to yourself and others, have high stress levels and trouble with sleeping.

We tend to turn whatever we are analysing into a negative and reading into things that aren’t there.

Although Over Analysing can happen to anyone, it’s common in those who suffer with mental illness, conditions such as Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and OCD are just a few.

Over Analysing is not only unhealthy it’s destructive and can ruin things like relationships.

Here’s my personal example

I’m having a conversation, and the person says something that automatically makes me anxious and that I don’t like (I’ve already taken it out of context). After the person has gone straight away I’m focused on the comment they made, I instantly see the negative and think maybe they meant it as this or that, do they not like me…it goes on. By the end of it – I have replayed it in my head hundreds of times with all the different things they might have meant…I am now convinced the person was actually having a dig at me and being mean and the original comment is totally different to what was said originally.

My problem with over analysing has and does cause me so much unnecessary stress, worry and self doubt, sometimes It makes paranoid and I am left thinking down and negative about myself.

 My 5 Tips To Help With Over Analysing

1. Stop waiting for perfection – it doesn’t exist 

2. Try and keep busy and focus on the job in hand

3. Stop rationalising…justifying and explaining everything you do

4. Talk about it with someone you know will give you honest feedback

5. Write it down, this will enable you to keep perspective and de-emotionalise the process

Hope this helps xx

Everyone Falters…
Everyone Stumbles…
Gather Your Courage…
Keep Moving In The Right Direction…
If You Don’t Know Which Way To Go…
Close Your Eyes…
And Follow Your Heart…

~  Margaret M. Painter

Pulling Through PostPartum Depression

*******TRIGGER WARNING*******

Psychcentral.com – By Nicole Lyons

Today is a very special day; it’s my daughter’s seventh birthday. We have a very fun day planned with her favourite dinner topping it all off. As I wander down memory lane I am overcome with such love and gratitude that I can’t find the words to express all I am thankful for, because when I feel like the world is closing in and I can’t keep my head above water, I look back at what I have accomplished and I know without a doubt that I am going to be okay.

The little one was a colicky baby and her sister, just a couple weeks shy of two years old, wanted every second of my attention. I was running on about two hours of sleep a day and the girls’ dad was in flight school three hours away. I was a stubborn woman who thought that if I accepted help from anyone I was admitting failure as a parent. I cannot stress enough that this is a lie that a lot of mothers’ post baby brains tell them, and a very selfish and cruel lie at that. According to The American Psychological Institution, 9-16% of women will experience Postpartum Depression. Among women who have already experienced PPD following a previous pregnancy, some prevalence increases to an estimated 41%.

I had a diagnosis of PPD and was prescribed an SSRI to help me through. Now as many of you may or may not know, SSRIs are not always a great choice for certain people living with a diagnosis of rapid cycling bipolar disorder, which I am. The combination of the severe lack of sleep and the meds had me skyrocketing into a state of mania the likes I had never seen before. I had to be hospitalized against my will while I had a toddler and a newborn at home that needed me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I needed to be well in order to take care of my children.

For me there was a lot of guilt. I saw this beautiful little baby girl who I didn’t want to pick up. I didn’t particularly want to spend any time with her or my oldest, I wanted to sleep and stop crying all of the time. I drifted through motions without any emotion other than complete engulfing sadness. At one point I thought I was poisoning my daughter with my breast milk so I refused to feed her, prompting a swift trip to the pharmacist and baby store from my mother-in-law to stock up on bottles, formula and vitamin D. I had terrible thoughts; awful gut wrenching thoughts that I can’t believe a mind could come up with, and about my own baby.

Postpartum depression does not mean that you are a bad mother. I’m going to say that again for those of you in the back who may not have heard that, POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER, and it is not your fault if you are living with it. We talk about the stigma surrounding mental illness all the time, but there isn’t enough talk about the stigma surrounding mothers who live with PPD. It is hard enough to not measure up to people’s standards of what the perfect mother should look like, and a lot of those standards we place on ourselves. There is no perfect mother, but there is the perfect mother for your children, and that’s you, even if you’re going through the sea of sludge, you can pull out.

Signs and Symptoms of PPD

Lack of interest in your baby

Worrying about hurting your baby

Negative feelings toward your baby

Lack of concern for yourself

Lack of energy or motivation

The web is filed with resources for mothers, parents and support for PPD, but always talk to your doctor. If you are unwell chances are your baby is not getting the best care that you can provide. Again it’s NOT YOUR FAULT, but you must ask for help and accept it. These feelings will pass with help and support, I promise you. The fact that you were afflicted with PPD says nothing about what an amazing mother you truly are, nothing. There is hope and there is help.

This is an amazing Psych Central article about PPD, busting the myths and how to get help. I have had the pleasure and privilege of crossing paths with one of the leading experts in perinatal research. Dr. Walker Karraa is absolutely brilliant and has done so much for the mental health community as a whole, but her work with Mothers and mental health is outstanding. Please check out her website which has links to all sorts of help and resources.

I refuse to entertain the thoughts about where I would be right now if I hadn’t accepted the help when I so desperately needed it. My children are happy, healthy and loved beyond measure. The bond between Mother and Daughter is unbreakable and they enrich my life every single day. I am grateful to them for completing my family and being a catalyst on my way to balance.

Addiction Number Two

I Didn’t Realise I Was Addicted Until About 6 Months Back When I Decided I Had Been Doing It A Lot And Decided Id Have A Break…Yep. Fine. Easy. (Baring In Mind I Have Bipolar And Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder) Approximately 4 Days Later I Started To Feel Really Depressed Then I Got So Low It Physically Hurt I Just Wanted To End It I Was Broken. After A Few Days I Slowly Felt A Little Better…I Called A Mate And Said I Had Been Feeling Ill And I’m Fed Up Of Being Down Lets Get Some Base…We Did And I Suddenly Felt Better.
Anyway Months Passed I Would Go On Benders Then Calm Down Etc It Wasn’t An Issue…It Was Recreational.

Then I Realised It Was, Although Making Me Feel Good For That Period Of Time, It Was In Fact Changing Me… I Was Quiet…I Became Even More Isolated…And I Was More Depressed In General. However, I Hadn’t Seen It, Not Till It Was Too Late.

So I Decided To Call It Quits…I Planned When I Was Going To Stop…Looked Up Withdrawal…Told One Person My Plan (Only One Other Person Including My Dealer Knew I Did It As I Wasn’t Social On It) So They Could Just Check I Was Ok, I Was So Adamant That I Even Told My Mental Health Care Worker…The Day Before Quit Day My Tesco Delivery Arrived… I Was Sorted.

I Wasn’t To Worried About Withdrawal I’m A Recovering Alcoholic I’ve Been Through Cold Turkey I’d Cope. The Fact It Said Withdrawal Included Severe Depression Didn’t Phase Me I Just Thought Can’t Be Worse Than My Episodes Piece Of Piss.

Well Fuck Me…You Know At The Start I Said I Felt So Low It Physically Hurt…Well Now I Know I Was Going Through Withdrawal Then…Suffering From Depression Didn’t Make It Easier To Deal With, It Was Horrific!!!!

So About 8 Maybe 9 Days After I Quit 5 Days Of Depression I Start To Come Out Of It…. I’m Doing OK…It Was Now A Case Of Waiting For My Meds To Fully Work And Get The Old Me Back Whoever She Was…Well Fuck Me…Life Is Dull…I Had No Personality No Motivation No Interest I Was Like A Zombie Then Slowly It All Started To Come Back And I Liked What I Was Finding…I Am Quite Bubbly And Motivated I Thought I Was, I Had Just Lost Myself And Could Only Be Those Things Wasted Before.

OK…In My Head I Have 2 Me’s Sensible Me (we’ll call her Bonny) & Destructive Addictive Me (Clyde) Anyway I Am Feeling Good And Clyde Pops Up You’ve Done Really Well You Deserve A Treat…Your Fine Once Won’t Hurt You Don’t Have A Problem. All This Time Bonnie Starts Off No No No….Too Late. Seeds Been Sown….Next Thing I’m On The Phone And There Follows A Bender.

Then About 5 Weeks Ago I Had A Bad Time On It And Decided That Was It I’d Had It…I Talked Myself Into A Rant So Much So I Threw 3g Down The Loo (I Could Have Cried For That Stupidity And Instantly Regretted It And Did For Days). As Nobody Really Knew I Did It…In My Wisdom I Thought If I Told People I Would Have More Incentive To Maintain It. But There Was Noway I Was Telling My Family Not After Seeing What My Alcohol Addiction Did To Them. So As I Run A Mental Health Group For Those With Any Type Of Mental Health Condition Including Addiction I Decided To Firstly Tell My Team Of Admin And Then When I Had Their Backing I Shared My Revelation With 540 People…And The Support I Got Was Amazing And Pumped Me Up To Do It…

That Lasted 2 Weeks 😦

Then 3 Weeks Ago The Worst Thing EVER Happened…My Dealer Had Ran Out And Couldn’t Get Hold Of Any…FUCK!!!!!



So This Time Having Had No Thoughts To Quit As I Had Cut Down Loads And Doing It In Moderation So Was All Good…I Honestly Thought As I Had Cut Back I Would Escape The Depression…Ohhh No….Anyway Got Through That, It Didn’t Last Too Long But I Couldn’t Get It Out Of My Head. ..It Was All I Thought About, I’d Dream About It…It Was WTF…I Think Because I Knew I Couldn’t Actually Get Any…Made Me Want It So Much More ! But Then I Got The Text ‘Collecting Tonight’ The Relief Was Immense Just Knowing It Was There When I Wanted/Needed And Tonight I Fucked Up, Why Did I After 3 Weeks, Do It?? It Makes No Sense To Me How I Am Such A Dick Head Over This Stuff….I’m So Pissed Off With Myself.

I Haven’t Wrote All This Shit To Say ‘I’m Clean’ Because I’m Not I’m More Controlled Which Is Good But I Gotta Be Honest I’m Not There Yet, Bonny & Clyde Need To Be Singing Off Of The Same Hymn Sheet For A Start But My Saving Grace Is…I’m Not Hurting Anyone…I Still Go To Work…Pay My Bills…I Don’t Owe Money By Getting It On Tick…And I Run, Support And Help Others

This Disease Is A Sneeky Bastard But Even Though I Don’t Know You I Believe That If You Want It You Will Beat It.

We ALL Deserve A Chance In This World…We Will Get That Chance Too

I Wrote This As On My Profile And One Of My First Posts I Shared ‘My Story’ This Isn’t Included In It But Is The Next Chapter If You Like…

Amphetamine Does Make You Go On…I’m So Sorry For Going On, I Will Shut Up Now…Thank You For Reading My Babble xx

Why CBT Is Falling Out Of Favour

This Could Change Your Life
Why CBT Is Falling Out Of Favour

The Guardian

Everybody loves cognitive behavioural therapy. It’s the no-nonsense, quick and relatively cheap approach to mental suffering – with none of that Freudian bollocks, and plenty of scientific backing. So it was unsettling to learn, from a paper in the journal Psychological Bulletin, that it seems to be getting less effective over time. After analysing 70 studies conducted between 1977 and 2014, researchers Tom Johnsen and Oddgeir Friborg concluded that CBT is roughly half as effective in treating depression as it used to be.

What’s going on? One theory is that, as any therapy grows more popular, the proportion of inexperienced or incompetent therapists grows bigger. But the paper raises a more intriguing idea: the placebo effect. The early publicity around CBT made it seem a miracle cure, so maybe it functioned like one for a while. These days, by contrast, the chances are you know someone who’s tried CBT and didn’t miraculously become perfectly happy for ever. Our expectations have become more realistic, so effectiveness has fallen, too. Johnsen and Friborg worry that their own paper will make matters worse by further lowering people’s expectations.

All this highlights something even stranger, though: when it comes to talk therapy, what does it even mean to speak of the placebo effect? With pills, it’s straightforward: if I swallow a sugar tablet, believing it to be an antidepressant, and my depression lifts, then there’s a good chance the placebo effect is at work. But if I believe that CBT, or any therapy, is likely to work, and it does, who’s to say if my beliefs were really the cause, rather than the therapy? Beliefs are an integral part of the process, not a rival explanation. The line between what I think is going on and what is going on starts to blur. Truly convince yourself that a psychological intervention is working and by definition it’s working.

Perhaps every era needs a practice it can believe in as a miracle cure – Freudian psychoanalysis in the 1930s, CBT in the 1990s, mindfulness meditation today – until research gradually reveals it to be as flawed as everything else.

Or it could be that we’re changing as people. In 1958, a US psychoanalyst, Allen Wheelis, published a book arguing that Freudian analysis had stopped working because the American character had altered. In Freud’s day, Wheelis argued, people didn’t understand why they felt sad; psychoanalysis gave them explanations, whereupon they found it easy to transform their lives. Modern people were better at self-understanding, but they lacked the gumption to do anything about it. “Lacking the sturdy character of the Victorians,” as Roy F Baumeister and John Tierney put it in their book Willpower‚ “people didn’t have the strength to follow up on the insight and change their lives.”

The old techniques weren’t completely wrong; they’d just outlived their usefulness. If the secret of happiness is hard to find, maybe that’s because the answer keeps changing.

oliver.burkeman@theguardian.com